The Alcohol Test
by DragonSorceress22
Summary: When your rival-turned-best-friend is a phantom thief who has recently reached legal drinking age, there's really only one responsible way to approach the matter. Spreadsheets.


_The Alcohol Test_

.

Kaito thunked a sealed bottle down on the table, and then a glass tumbler. "Okay. I'm ready."

Shinichi thunked a measuring cup down on the table without looking up from his laptop. "Me too. What kind of–?" He stopped, looking around the screen at the bottle. "…Chocolate whipped vodka?" he asked.

Kaito grinned. "Sounded pretty good. No reason to choke down something awful, right?"

Shinichi rolled his eyes but reached around to grab the bottle, glancing over the label before typing a number into the spreadsheet he had open.

"What's that?" Kaito moved around the table to peer over Shinichi's shoulder. "…You made a spreadsheet," he said. His voice was carefully neutral.

"Yeah," Shinichi answered. "We wanted to keep track right? And this way we'll have the calculations so no matter what you're drinking you'll know how much is safe."

Kaito laughed a little then, and Shinichi twisted around in his seat to look up at him. "You're really going above and beyond to help me with this little experiment."

"It was _my_ idea," Shinichi reminded him.

Kaito leaned in with a warm smile. "And you're sure it's not because I'm keeping _your_ secrets too?"

"You know it's not," Shinichi replied, nose in the air as he turned back to the computer.

Kaito grinned again and took his seat across the table from Shinichi. The seal snapped free as he twisted off the cap on the bottle and Shinichi shoved the measuring cup insistently forward.

"Forty-five milliliters every fifteen minutes. New persona each round. As soon as you're not able to hold a character, we're done. You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kaito said, measuring out the vodka then transferring it to the tumbler.

"Let's do 'respectable CEO and family man' as the first one."

Kaito smirked, raised the glass to his lips, took a taste, and promptly choked. "This… isn't as good as I thought it would be."

"I think I'm kind of relieved to hear that," Shinichi said. "Guess pretending it is will just have to be part of the test."

Kaito's face scrunched in distaste, but he tossed the vodka back. The moment he'd drained the glass his expression smoothed over and his posture straightened. He crossed his legs under the table, folded his hands on top of it, and listened politely as Shinichi settled into interrogation-mode to begin his questions.

.

An hour and a half and six personas later, Kaito was imitating Nakamori Ginzo flawlessly when Shinichi called time. Kaito reached for the bottle and measured out his seventh dose while Shinichi filled in the data on his spreadsheet. Then he said, "Next one will be… uh, I don't know, a hopeless flirt."

For the first time, Kaito hesitated.

 _Is this… a good idea?_ he wondered. He was definitely starting to feel it and there was… a concern that he'd do something he'd regret if he let himself get into that mindset here. Alone. With Shinichi.

Shinichi picked up on his hesitation immediately. "Are you okay?" he asked, and of course he was looking at Kaito with that wide-eyed, innocent concern.

Kaito stared down at the glass in his hand for a good half-minute then slowly pushed it away. "I'm at my limit," he said, and the words weren't slurred but they were a little slow. "We don't need to do that persona."

Shinichi didn't question it. He typed something into the spreadsheet then stood and took the tumbler and bottle away, bringing back a large glass of water and a full pitcher for good measure.

"Your face is pretty flushed," Shinichi said, his voice oddly gentle. "How are you feeling?"

Kaito reached out and clasped the cool, tall glass in front of him with both hands. "…I didn't wanna do that persona," he said, and his brain was a little too slow to pick up on the slur creeping in, and far too slow to keep the next words from coming out. "I don't wanna pretend to flirt with you."

"Well excuse me," Shinichi said airily, dropping back into his chair. "Didn't know it was such a bad option."

"No. No, you're not getting it," Kaito insisted. He paused to drink the whole glass of water and refilled it from the pitcher as he continued. "I don't wanna _pretend_ to flirt with you. I _like_ flirting with you. I _want_ to flirt with you. Like, all the time. As me."

Shinichi had gone a little too still and Kaito's eyebrows pulled down, a deep frown forming.

"…Kaito?"

"I am definitely past my limit here," Kaito said. "I did _not_ mean to say that." He sighed heavily and took another drink of water. "This was a bad idea. How did I not see this was a bad idea?"

"What? Why?" Shinichi objected. "It's important for you to know–"

"Yeah, yeah, limits and stuff," Kaito said, leaning forward a little. He ended up sagging somewhat against the edge of the table. "But I'm _past_ that now and I didn't think about what I would end up _saying_ once I got to that point."

"…That's why it's just me here, Kaito. You don't have to worry–"

Kaito pushed himself up again, his voice going a little louder to talk over Shinichi. "See, you don't get it 'cause I really wanna say it, Shinichi, and I kinda know it's lame 'cause who wants a drunk love confession but I just don't feel like keeping quiet, y'know? I do enough of that, right? Wait, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Did you say… love confession?" Shinichi asked carefully.

"…Dammit."

"Er, it's okay," Shinichi said. "I can just leave, er, well, actually I don't want to leave you alone when you're this drunk, but I can put headphones on and read for a while so you can talk all you want about whoever you wanted to confess to. I mean, I get pretty into my mystery novels so I probably won't hear you–"

" _Shinichi_. You are so dense. It's _you_ , Tantei-kun. I love you and it's stupid 'cause I'm _so_ drunk right now, but it's fine 'cause you like the truth a lot so maybe I won't regret saying it but now I kinda feel like crying so could you maybe… maybe say something here 'cause I think that would help."

"It's… me," Shinichi said slowly. "Just… to be absolutely clear. You're confessing to me."

Kaito nodded, then tipped to the side a little at the motion. He had to grab at the edge of the table to steady himself but one hand missed and almost overturned the water glass.

"Well that's…" Shinichi caught Kaito's eye and his smile went soft. Kaito felt like crying all over again. "That's good," Shinichi sighed. "I mean, I've got a good ten months before I'm old enough to legally drink, and if I had to pretend not to listen to you go on about loving someone else I don't think I could stand it sober."

Kaito face scrunched again, some cross between confusion and distaste – like he thought he should be insulted but wasn't really sure. Shinichi clarified.

"I don't want to hear you talk about somebody else. I want you all to myself, you get it?" He could feel his face going as pink as Kaito's, but that seemed fair.

Kaito blinked at him a few times then grinned. "I hate that I'm drunk right now."

"Me too."

"Drunk love confessions suck, but drunk kissing is so much worse."

"Yeah, that is _not_ going to happen."

"Wanna see if I can pull off that hopeless flirt persona after all?"

"No."

"Oh come on~"

"No, Kaito." Shinichi pushed his chair back and stood, coming around the table to grab Kaito under an arm and haul him to his feet. "You need to sober up. I'll stay over."

Kaito was still grinning. "I love you."

"Idiot," Shinichi sighed, his face going hot again. Then, in a quiet mumble, he said, "…I love you, too."

Shinichi guided Kaito into the living room and deposited him on the couch, then went back for the water and for the computer. The moment he sat down, Kaito shifted up close against Shinichi's side and hugged his arm, tucking his head against Shinichi's shoulder. For a while, they just sat there like that, Kaito smiling and feeling slightly giddy as Shinichi drew his fingers absently through Kaito's hair.

"Shinichi?" he eventually murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Shinichi, I love the spreadsheet." It was almost a whisper, his tone conspiratorial. "The whole… preparation thing just… I really like it. I like the spreadsheet."

"I get that," Shinichi laughed.

"It's the whole… preparation thing. I like it."

"I thought you might."

"Did you do it for me?" he suddenly blurted out.

"No, I… just sort of did it."

Kaito made a sad sort of noise and seemed to deflate against Shinichi's side.

"But…" Shinichi added. "It did occur to me. That you would like it."

Kaito brightened again instantly. "You _do_ care!" he proclaimed. "I love you, Shinichi."

"You only love me for my spreadsheets," Shinichi said, smirking.

Kaito sat up to shake his head emphatically and promptly tipped over. Shinichi caught him and tugged him back, and then Kaito was against him again, staring up into Shinichi's eyes, his gaze focused and heated and his expression serious. "I love you."

Shinichi's face went deeply pink again and Kaito smiled. "…Are you not actually drunk?" Shinichi muttered.

"No, I'm really, really drunk," Kaito answered. "I might have passed drunk, actually, I feel seven different kinds of awful, Shinichi, make it stop."

"Geez, you _really_ can't shut up when you're drunk. Good to know." Shinichi leaned over and typed a quick note into the spreadsheet.

"What's that?" Kaito asked, squinting at the screen. "What'd you write?"

"Nothing," Shinichi said firmly. "You can look at it tomorrow, after you're done being sick and you recover from the headache you're probably gonna have." He picked up the glass again and pushed it into Kaito's hands. "Drink more water."

.

Kaito woke with a groan rising in his chest, but he was aware enough to quiet it before it could escape. Slowly, he pushed himself up and looked around. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten there, but he was in his bed and…

Kaito froze. There was something warm at his back.

The facts were adding up, tabulating in his mind with dizzying speed now even as he turned and saw Shinichi, asleep under the same blanket as him. He choked on something like a squeak and jolted away, barely keeping from pitching off the side of the bed. Shinichi's eyes blinked open.

"Hey," he laughed, smiling up at Kaito before his eyes squeezed shut again with a wide yawn. "Are you panicking?" he asked, voice fuzzy with sleep.

Kaito nodded mutely.

"You said last night that you'd probably assume something if you woke up next to me after getting drunk. Looks like you were right." He stretched out some under the blanket and Kaito stared.

"So…?" he murmured.

"You're just jumping to conclusions," Shinichi assured him. "How are you feeling?"

Kaito considered that. "Awful," he said.

"It'll pass. I'm sticking around until it does."

"Meaning you'll leave once I feel better?"

Shinichi scoffed. "Not before I get what's owed to me."

"What's… owed…?"

Shinichi sat up and met his eyes. "I want a proper, sober confession," he told him. "And at _least_ a kiss for my trouble." Kaito's face went pink and Shinichi laughed. "But don't get yourself worked up as long as you're still hung over." He reached out and tugged Kaito back down onto the bed, sinking down next to him again. "Do you need anything?"

"…Besides you?" Kaito murmured.

Shinichi smirked. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

Slowly, Kaito's hand slid over and his fist closed on Shinichi's t-shirt. Actually… make that _Kaito's_ t-shirt, and that shouldn't have been as appealing as it was. "I don't need anything," he said. "Just stay."

Shinichi's smile softened and he shifted a little closer to tuck Kaito's head under his chin. "Of course."

.

 **Author Note**

Happy birthday, Kaito! I was (relatively) nice to you this time! :D


End file.
